Archive for the ‘Self – Help’ Category

Dance on Your Brain Tonight for a Better Tomorrow

Monday, February 4th, 2013 by bobgarner

Mark Twain once said, “You have to take your brain out and dance on it.” In other words, you need to give your mind some downtime tonight, if you want to have a more productive tomorrow. With that said are you a person who spends weekends and evenings worrying about business? Do you think about meetings, emails, and office politics? If so, it’s time to learn how to use your free-time more productively. Not only is your time away from the concerns of the workplace necessary, but a rested mind is more efficient and productive.

Dr. Barbara Mackoff describes a number of techniques to help you leave work at the workplace in her book, “The Art of Self-Renewal: Balance Pressure and Productivity On and Off the Job” (Lowell House, 1992).

One of the first steps is learning how to leave in the evening – shifting from the fast, demanding pace of the workplace to the more relaxed rhythms of the home. Try these ideas for making the transition easier:

  1. End the day with the low-pressure work. In your last hour of work, you may be doing your most demanding tasks. If the day ends in this kind of stressful rush, you’re bound to take that intensity home with you. Instead, try to end the day with easier, less pressured work. Clear your desk, put stuff away, read professional literature. Even better, this is a great time to return phone calls or emails. (Don’t you hate it when people don’t return your calls or emails? I’m sure that you do, so don’t do it to other people. If calling back takes too much time, then send an email. Keep your replies short and friendly. No one is that busy that they can’t return emails.)
  1. Make a list of what you need to do the next day or the beginning of next week. Alleviate apprehensions you feel about tomorrow by setting up your plan right now. List everything you want to do. Decide if any tasks can be delegated or handled later in the week. Then assign a priority to each item and preferred time of day to tackle it. Before I go to sleep, I take a notepad and write everything down that I need to do the following day. (Sometimes this list can be two full pages!) The next day, as I finish each task, I not only feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment, but I also am amazed at how much work I’ve done.
  1. Create a closing ceremony, a routine you will perform every day before you leave. Tear a page from the wall calendar and drop it into the waste bucket; log off the computer; ask co-workers about plans for the evening, put a sign up in your office or cubicle that reads, “I’m here, you just can’t see me!” or “Gone home.” No matter how simple the closing ceremony, it has the power to indicate the day is done and your evening or weekend has begun.

Start tonight and take your brain out for a dance. Not only will you have a more productive tomorrow, but there’s also no cover charge and you don’t even have to dress up! What could be better than that?

Funny motivational speaker Bob Garner is the author of “Masters of Motivation” which has been called a “must read” by business leaders. Bob writes for numerous business magazines and speaks extensively worldwide on motivation, sales, and success. Visit his funny keynote motivational speaker site for more information.

©2013 Bob Garner. All Rights Reserved. You may use this article, but you must use the whole article, the byline and author resource links.

Anger Management – Are You Quick to Anger or Have a Hard Time Controlling Your Anger?

Tuesday, May 29th, 2012 by bobgarner

I wrote this piece on dealing with anger for one of my other blogs. In this article, “John” experiences a few things that make him angry. You may recognize “John” in yourself or someone you know. If you are quick to anger or have a hard time controlling your anger, you may want to check it out. To read more, just click on the link.

Anger Management – Why Are You So Angry and How to Stop It

Imagine … John believes that he is an easy going and very pleasant fellow. Then one day, someone cuts him off in traffic and John now yells and screams at the other driver. At the stop light, John pulls up along side of the driver who cut him off and continues yelling at that driver. The other driver ignores John and, when the light turns green, simply drives away, while John sits there in his car… still yelling. 

As John drives on and “cools off,” he thinks about what happened and feels a sense of remorse and shame for his actions, yet he also feels justified – because the other driver should not have been so rude and cut him off. The incident will come back to haunt John’s consciousness throughout the day, delivering a variety of feelings at various times. John will wonder why he has a hard time controlling his anger. He subconsciously knows his behavior was in error and, eventually, will consciously admit it and vow to “act better” the next time. After all, he is a nice and pleasant person.

To read more, go here: Anger Management

 

Kindness: Give Me Flowers… While I’m Alive

Thursday, April 19th, 2012 by bobgarner

Have you ever noticed what happens at a funeral? Someone dies and everyone sends beautiful flowers and expressive cards. They show up at the funeral and say nice things about the departed. (To whom are they speaking?) 

Food for thought: If the departed could hear you, what do you think would be said about you? Maybe, “Wow … it would have been nice if you would have said that to me when I was alive.” or perhaps, “Look at all of these flowers! I didn’t know that all of you really cared.”

Think about the people with whom you interact with now. How often do you say thank you? How often do you stop what you are doing and say to someone “I love you”? How often do you practice “random acts of kindness” toward family and friends (and strangers)?

In the corporate world, when someone retires, they throw a party and people come up and say, “It was great working with you. You always did such a fantastic job.” Question: Did those same people ever say that to that person, while he or she was working at their job? Probably not.

What difference does it make that you think someone did a good job, when they are walking out the office door never to return again? What difference does it make when someone is dead that you thought he or she was a valued friend, if you never told them so when they were alive?

What about people you don’t know? What about hotel maids, front desk help, service reps? I have seen people order waiters around like they were indentured servants. When the waiter delivered what was asked, the recipient just ignored them.

Here’s another example: I was just at the airport and an airline employee went out of her way to help a passenger find the right gate. I mean the employee stopped what she was doing, walked this woman out to the monitors, showed her where her flight was located on the monitor, and then walked her in the right direction. The passenger didn’t even say thank you. She just kept walking. The airline employee stood there, shrugged her shoulders, and went back to doing what she was doing, prior to the passenger’s questions. Would it have killed that passenger to say “thank you”?

What we’re talking about is kindness. It’s about doing the “right thing.” As Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “The time is always right to do the right thing.” Why wait until your fellow employee is walking out the door for the last time to tell that person you enjoyed working with him? Why wait to tell an employee that she is doing a great job? Why wait to say thank you to someone who assists you … helps you … extends a kindly gesture? Why wait until a loved one dies, before you tell that person that you care about them?

The “right time” to do the “right thing” is right now. And don’t expect that your actions will always be reciprocated or rewarded, because – as in my airport example – most often they will not. However, you can’t wait for others to be kind; you have to show them how.

Mark Twain wrote, “Kindness is a language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Doing the “right thing” is to speak the language of kindness to others, while they are in a position to receive it. Make a point today – and everyday – to give kindness to people while they are in our midst. Give them “flowers” … while they are alive.

Recognized as one of the leading funny keynote motivational speakers, this article is an adaptation from Bob Garner’s popular free motivational podcasts. Listen at Bob’s funny keynote motivational speaker site and click on “Podcasts” at the bottom of the page.

©2012 Bob Garner. All Rights Reserved. You may use this article, but you must use the byline and author resource.

Human Resource Professionals: Working from Home is a Privilege – 6 Tips for Employees On How To Not Abuse It

Saturday, February 18th, 2012 by bobgarner

Many companies are now allowing employees to work from home a day or two a week. And the vast majority of human resource professionals will be the first to tell an employee that working from home is a privilege, not a right – and they are correct. Just because you “think” you can do your job from home doesn’t mean that your company “thinks” you can. It’s about accountability and efficiency. If you can prove that you deliver at work, there is a good chance – with more companies offering telecommuting opportunities – you will have a good shot to “deliver” from home. However, if you’re the employee who is always gossiping, hanging out at the water cooler and “slow to perform,” then you will most likely not get “the nod.” Making the transition from working at the office to working from home requires not only self-discipline, but also adhering to a few strategies. As someone who has worked from home (or should I say a “home office”) for nearly 30 years, here are 6 strategies to help insure success:

1 – Your Environment: Clear out an area from which you can comfortably work. If this can be a stationary location such as a small desk or table in your abode – or a separate room – so much the better. That way, you know when you sit down in that location, you are “at work.” Having a dry erase board, a post-it board or something hanging from a wall on which to clip notes is always good for reminders, etc. With regard to keeping your desk neat and tidy, Albert Einstein said, “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what then is an empty desk a sign?” Well, I would ask, “Of what then is an orderly desk a sign?” Unless you have a mind like Einstein, keeping your work location neat and orderly may be beneficial to increasing your overall efficiency.

2 – Minimize Visual Distractions: Make sure your work space is free from visual distractions such as the television or awaiting chores (i.e. dirty dishes in the sink). That doesn’t mean that you must face away from a window with a nice view. It means eliminating what might detract you. If you are in the middle of an important conversation and something comes on the television that distracts you, then you have just potentially created an uncomfortable moment that could have been avoided. The TV diverted your attention, which is different from looking out the window and taking a short break.

3 – Minimize Interruptions: When working from home, put phone numbers from relatives or friends who may call during your work day on vibrate. When checking your email, skip over personal messages until you take a break – that is also the time to check your personal phone messages. Also, refrain from web surfing, tweeting, and Facebooking, during your work time. Focus on what needs to get done and do it.

4 – Work Time & Breaks: Coordinate your day, so that you know when you will be working and when you will be taking any breaks. Try to stick to that time schedule. When it’s time to take a break, step away from your “office.” When it’s time to return to work, put personal issues or responsibilities aside and do your business.

5 – Shirt or Slippers: Maybe you can work just fine at home in your pajamas or sweats. However, for many people, “cleaning up” and wearing something more “appropriate” can increase efficiency and overall productivity. You don’t need to put on what you might wear if you were to actually go into the office, but you will probably feel more “professional” if you are wearing something other than a bathrobe and fuzzy slippers.

6 – Make Time for Motivation and Inspiration: Prior to starting your work day, take a few moments to read something that will inspire or motivate you. As stated, working from home requires discipline and discipline requires you to be self-motivated. Write down some sayings or affirmations that you like and keep them near your workspace.

While these strategies appear to be simple, many human resource professionals will tell you that some employees are unable to follow them. While those employees will have to trek into the office and continue working “in the cube,” by following these strategies, you may increase your performance and productivity and, therefore, be offered (or maintain) the privilege of working from home.

As a funny motivational speaker, I am known for delivering usable strategies on increasing performance and productivity via my programs for corporations worldwide. To view what I offer, visit my funny motivational speaker site. 

©2012 Bob Garner. All Rights Reserved. You may use this article, but you must use the byline and author resource.

Dealing with Challenges and Escaping from Problems: What Harry Houdini Can Teach You

Thursday, October 27th, 2011 by bobgarner

Public domain late 1800's

It was 85 years ago on Halloween at 1:26 pm in Detroit, MI, when Harry Houdini took his last breath. Houdini is the person who is probably more responsible for keeping the art of magic alive than any other magician who has ever lived. In fact, if you ask most people to think of a famous magician, Houdini is probably one of the first names uttered.

Houdini’s secret was that he not only understood marketing and advertising, but also, even more importantly, he had a great product – he was an escape artist. He possessed the ability to escape. People desire to escape. People want to “break loose” from reality and their problems, as well as the chains that bind them to their everyday existence.

Houdini used that desire to create impossible situations and then he would escape from them. Houdini would accept challenges from other people and then escape from those challenges, as well. His escapes were based on a vast knowledge of what was going to be binding him – handcuffs, leg irons, a straightjacket, etc. – and then developing an exit strategy that would free him. He had unbelievable patience and a determination to succeed.

You can use that same strategy, when faced with a challenge that seems inescapable. Discover all you can about what the challenge is and then, calmly, create an exit strategy that will allow you to overcome it. The key word here is “calmly.” Even though Houdini knew how he would make his escape in advance, sometimes his idea didn’t work, so he had to devise and try another plan. Houdini, even with his most difficult escapes, knew that he must never panic. He was resolved that “in time,” he would always find a way out of the problem.

Therefore, don’t try and “force” an outcome. Develop a plan and move according to circumstance. If you need to change your strategy, do so. However, with any plan you devise, be steadfast in your thinking that you will, ultimately, find an answer to your problem and that you will succeed.

Undoubtedly, Houdini will be remembered as a great magician. But he will also be remembered as someone who showed people that despite any challenge, there is always a way to escape through an understanding of the situation, the development of a flexible plan and then, the calm execution of that plan … with determination.

At the age of 8, Bob read a book on Houdini and was hooked. Today, as one of the leading funny motivational speakers on the corporate circuit, Bob reinforces strategic points of his presentation with magic and mind reading. You can watch his funny motivational speaker video demo for a quick look at Bob’s work. 

©2011 Bob Garner. All Rights Reserved. You may use this article, but you must use the byline and author resource.

Top 3 Tips on How Successful Entrepreneurs Manage Their Time

Wednesday, August 3rd, 2011 by bobgarner

Setting out to succeed with your own business requires managing your time well. If not done properly, not only will you waste time and not efficiently achieve your goals, but you may also find yourself losing clients, money, and/or possibly even the business, itself.

Here are three simple steps you could take in order to manage your time more effectively.

Step One: Develop a Plan of Action

You need to know what you want to accomplish and the time frame in which you want it accomplished. Developing an overall plan of action will aid you in achieving your goal. So, begin by writing down your primary goal and then writing down what steps you need to take in order to realize that goal. It sounds so simple, but most people don’t do this and become distracted and waste an inordinate amount of time. So, do not make the mistake of disregarding this important point.

Step Two: Develop a List for Each Step

Take each step and compose a list of smaller steps you may need to take in order to achieve each step. (Think of them as sub-steps.) This will help you tackle each step correctly and systematically. Additionally, you won’t forget or overlook something important and then have to go back and fix what you missed. You don’t want to overlook this, because fixing a mistake can cost you time, as well as money.

Step Three: Complete Each Activity

Finally, when focusing on managing your time, you’ll want to make sure and complete each step – and all the sub-steps. Set aside some time each day to review your plan and your steps. Examine what you did or didn’t do and make adjustments. Don’t be too hard on yourself – everything takes time. Remember that even if you only complete one or two steps a day, each accomplishment brings you closer to achieving your goal.

Keep in mind that your goal is about improving some aspect of your life – financial, physical, emotional, etc. And as long as your goal does not harm another living being – or creature – then it is a worthwhile goal and one in which you should make all attempts to achieve.

Successful entrepreneurs understand the importance of managing their time and follow a system that aids them in achieving their goals as quickly and efficiently as possible. They also understand the importance of actually “doing the work” to complete each step along the path to their goal. By following the above three steps, you will use your time wisely, cut down on distractions and time wasters, and systematically move closer to achieving your goal.

As a successful entrepreneur for nearly 30 years, I know these steps work. You can find other ideas to help you build your business and achieve goals on my funny motivational speaker blog . If you’re looking for a funny motivational speaker who actually has something to say, you can also check out my motivational speaking site.

©2011 Bob Garner. All Rights Reserved. You may use this article, but you must use my byline and author resource.

Are Your Problems Destroying Your Life? 2 Ways to Stop That Now

Friday, July 22nd, 2011 by bobgarner

Have you ever had a problem that you just couldn’t work out? It kept bothering you and you just didn’t know what to do. It felt like the problem was engulfing your thinking and you couldn’t get it out of your mind. You thought constantly about your problem and talked to others about it. You were in pain and were suffering. It felt like your problem was destroying your life.

Finally, you couldn’t take it any more and decided you needed a break, so you sat down to watch your favorite television program. For the next hour or so, you were completely transfixed by what you were watching. Then, when you turned off the television, your problem popped back into your mind and you started worrying again. Does that sound familiar?

Now, I have one question. While you were watching your television program, where did your problem go? It didn’t go anywhere. You made a choice to not be upset about the problem – at that time – because you were thinking about something else. What does that tell you? It tells you that you had a choice as to whether or not to be disturbed. It also clearly showed you that your problem really had no power over you, except the power that you gave it.

When you give a  problem the power to disturb you, the problem controls you. By not being willing to allow it to control you – you control the problem and, in short, take back your power. You can learn to control your problems in two ways.

Firstly, you can begin to control a problem by observing it. Albert Einstein once said that you can never solve a problem on the level it was created. In other words, you have to get “above” your problem and you do that – like a scientist would view a problem – through observing it.

Observe your problem without getting your emotions involved. Look at it as an outsider might view it. Ask yourself, “What is the main issue of this problem?” “Why am I disturbed by this?” “Why do I need to feel this way?” See yourself as separate from your problem, because you are.

Remember, your problem is only an experience that you are having – it is not who you are. Understanding this allows you to ask questions such as, “What can I learn about myself from this experience?” or “What can this experience teach me?” The answers will allow you to discover more about yourself and aid you in diminishing not only this problem, but also future problems, as well.

Secondly, oftentimes, through the correct observation of your problem, an amazing thing occurs – you are given an answer via your intuition. Many of the conflicting feelings you have over a problem are due to thinking that you have a choice. You think, “If I do this, this will happen and if I do that, that will happen.” Actually, neither is necessarily correct. There are a lot of outside variables that come into play – with regard to any decision – of which you have no control.

Instead, through observation – unclouded by emotions – your intuition is given access to your conscious mind. Understanding that your intuition is a combination of your past experiences, combined with current information, blended with that Divine Spark – that special something – you need to let it “come through” and then, you need to listen to it.

As the actor Alan Alda once said, “You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful…”

If you’re tired of allowing problems to control your life, try these two steps. Discover the power of being in control of your problems, as opposed to your problems controlling you.

Bob Garner is a funny motivational speaker who actually has something to say. With clients worldwide, Bob is recognized as an entertaining motivational speaker, as well as an author and syndicated writer.

©2011 Bob Garner. All Rights Reserved. You may use this article, but you must use my byline and author resource.

Dealing With Change: The Cave of Emptiness and Its Treasure

Wednesday, July 6th, 2011 by bobgarner

A young man stood at the entrance of a dark and gloomy cave which was believed to harbor treasures that would provide abundance to anyone who dared to enter.  It had been said for thousands of year that this treasure existed, yet there was no scientific proof that – even if there were a treasure in the cave – this treasure could actually do what was believed it could do – provide abundance. The only requirement to enter the cave was to give up your old way of thinking and old ways of doing things and plunge into the darkness and experience the treasure.

The young man thought about it for a while. He wondered, “Could I give up my old ways?” He was fearful, yet he decided that he wanted to change his life and took the step to enter the emptiness and darkness of the cave. He walked in … and found the treasure that he was seeking.

The cave is a metaphor for the darkness … the emptiness one must face in order to change one’s life. The giving up of old ways of thinking and old ways of doing things represents letting go, creating a vacuum for new experiences in your life. What stops people from entering the cave and realizing the treasure that awaits them in the form of a new life is their unwillingness to let go of their old ways.

You have to get rid of something, before something better can come along. If you want to have more abundance, then you need to discard of all your clutter and things that are stopping you from achieving your abundance. If you want more satisfying relationships, then you need to discontinue unsatisfying relationships. If you want more opportunities in business and life, then you need to rid yourself of poor work ethics, unsupportive people and negative situations.

People don’t want to abandon their current beliefs, thoughts, and actions, because those things actually make them feel safe – even though they also inwardly make them feel miserable and incomplete. But remember – before you can have something new, you have to rid yourself of the old.

The emptiness – that vacuum – will fill up. But with what? This is the crucial point where you must think and act correctly, because this is where the change happens. For example, if you believe that just by dumping your old abusive boyfriend that you will find a new wonderful, non-abusive boyfriend, you are mistaken. Why? Because you haven’t changed the “true void” that the vacuum will fill, which is you and the way you think. You will move from one bad relationship to the next, because the only vacuum you have created is for another bad relationship.

However, should you begin to work on yourself and start to change from one who always needs a relationship; one who only feels complete only when they have someone in their life; one who feels it is their job to fix, take care, or change another person to one who is happy with being alone; one who is content to work on improving themselves mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially, and one who no longer has the desire to rescue or change anyone – then the old boyfriend will disappear and a new and improved version will have the opportunity to enter!

It’s about creating a void, then choosing to fill it correctly. The reason why you don’t realize abundance in your life is because you are still attached to your old ways and old way of thinking.

The great teacher and author Joseph Campbell once said, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” Do you have the courage to walk into the cave of emptiness and let go of your “old”? Do you have the courage to be empty? Should you walk into that cave, you won’t really find emptiness; instead, you will find the treasure that you seek.

Bob Garner is recognized as a funny motivational speaker who actually has something to say. As a successful entrepreneur for nearly 30 years, Bob combines solid business principles with psychological and spiritual insights and speaks to the audiences of Fortune 1000 corporations at meetings and events, worldwide. When companies look for a fun motivational speaker who can also deliver a message, they turn to Bob Garner. To listen to Bob deliver this article via his free spiritual podcasts go to http://www.bobgarneraudio.com/.

©2011Bob Garner. All Rights Reserved. You may use this article, but you must include my byline and my resource box.

Healing Power of Forgiveness – Unlock Your Prison Door

Thursday, June 23rd, 2011 by bobgarner

How many people have done bad things to you? How many bad things have you done to other people?

I have had times in my life, when I could answer with the word “many” to both questions. I have used my quickness of mind and tongue to say things that I later deeply regretted and have done things that hurt others.

To my credit, when I have done or said things that were “wrong,” I have usually gone to that person and explained myself, apologized and asked for his/her forgiveness. To my discredit, I did not apologize to everyone and still have to monitor myself, so that I don’t make the same mistakes, again.

In my past, there have been people who did bad things to me– and never apologized or accepted any wrongdoing. Therefore, I had, never forgiven them. The anger or disappointment that I carried around was not overbearing and it was not the utmost thing on my mind, until someone would mention that person’s name or I was reminded of the event in someway. When that happened, the anger (or want of revenge) would return to my mind, and I would start thinking about how I could get this person back or what I would say, if I saw that person again. But it wasn’t until recently that I discovered that carrying this anger and resentment inside of me and feeling a “need to get back” was a waste of time.

Let me explain. I had a friend – who ended up not being a friend, but someone who was out to, literally, destroy me. This person’s actions didn’t work. Yet, I carried anger toward this person for many years.

I recently saw this person again. We had a brief conversation, (where I said nothing that I had planned to say if I ever saw this person again) and even though this person didn’t bring up the incident or ask for my forgiveness, I was able to see how afraid this person was of me and my “success.” I felt sorry for this person, and it was then that I forgave this person.

What a release! I had been a prisoner in a cell that had this person’s name on the door and now I was free. Forgiveness gave me freedom from my self-imposed prison of anger.

What about you? Do you have a person in your life that causes you to be angry or resentful at the mention of that person’s name? If so, you need to release yourself from your mental prison cell. It may sometimes feels good to sit there and steam and plan your revenge, but let me tell you…you are wasting your time.

If this person does not have the courage to apologize and ask your forgiveness, then I can pretty much guarantee you that this person doesn’t even think about you nor does he or she view what he or she did to be “bad.” Therefore, your thinking of them and plotting your revenge is a waste of energy – energy that could be applied to creating what it is they you do want to have happen in your life.

Sit down in a quiet place and visualize that person whom you feel has said or done something bad to you and mentally explain why you are angry. Then try to see why that person may have done what he/she did to you. Did you do something first to cause the event to take place? Be honest with yourself. If you did, then you need to ask for forgiveness. If you can, do it in person or (at the least) over the phone. During this conversation, should this person ask for forgiveness, grant it immediately. Don’t “rub their nose in it” and make them squirm or give them ultimatums covered by humor, such as “Well, you better never do that again…(chuckle).” Just tell that person that you accept their apology and that everything has been “wiped clean.”

If you can’t speak to the person with whom you are angry or if you did nothing, and can honestly state that, then mentally forgive this person, wish them well, and turn off the mental picture. Close with a silent prayer that this person may be healed and that you are now healed and free from any anger or resentment toward that person. If you do this, you will feel a tremendous amount of relief. It will be as if a burden were lifted from your shoulders. 

Depending on what happened to you, this may not be easy and you may have to try this exercise a couple of times before the full power of forgiveness can come into your being. Yet, it can be done.

How many of us could forgive someone who tried to kill us? Many of us were amazed when President Reagan and Pope John Paul II forgave their attempted assassins. Yet, isn’t that what Jesus taught? Isn’t that what Buddha taught? Reagan and Pope John Paul II healed their mental wounds through the power of forgiveness. They were not going to be fettered by the emotions of anger and rage when, by a simple change in their thinking, they released all the toxins of these emotions and continued to live peaceful, productive, and inspiring lives.

Could they forget what happened to them? No, of course not. Is it easy to forget the wrong that happened to me? No. Is it easy to forget the wrong that happened to you? No. However, through the healing power of forgiveness, you can look at what “happened” as a lesson or experience in your journey through life. A painful and, perhaps for some, a horrible experience, yet you lived through it and can learn from that experience.

Through forgiveness, the lesson will become clearer and your journey through life more meaningful. Through this healing, you may find that you now want to go and help others who have suffered through a similar experience and help them heal and move on with their lives.

Perhaps, your experience will give you the impetus to find a way to help others to not undergo a similar incident. (This is not revenge. This is using the powers given to you, as well as your individual knowledge to stop pain happening to others.) However, you can neither help others nor stop any problem from hurting others, if your energy is spent on personal anger and revenge. Ask yourself, “Is there something positive to be gained from this experience?” “Is there someone else that I can help?” “Is there something that I can do that will stop this from happening to others?” When you find the answer, follow it.

Let me close with a well-known story about two Buddhist monks who were both imprisoned for many years. The one monk said to the other, “Have you forgiven those who imprisoned us?” The other said, “No, I will never forgive them.” To which the other monk replied, “Well, then I guess they still have you in prison.”

Are you in your own mental prison of anger and revenge? Unlock your cell door and step out into freedom through the healing power of forgiveness.

A successful entrepreneur for nearly 30 years, Bob Garner is living proof that what he says works.  Bob took a dream and turned it into a reality and now shares his entrepreneurial and business expertise combined with psychological and spiritual teachings at meetings and events worldwide. Recognized as a funny motivational speaker who actually has something to say, Bob is an author, a syndicated writer, and creator of numerous CDs. His free motivational podcasts generate over 30,000 listeners per episode.

2011Bob Garner. All Rights Reserved.

PLEASE NOTE: You may use this article, but you must include my byline and my author bio.

Stop the Struggle in Your Life – 4 Steps to Freedom

Monday, May 2nd, 2011 by bobgarner

Have you ever collapsed into your bed at the end of a hectic day and asked yourself, “What happened today? What am I doing? Is this my life?” Not getting an answer to this rhetorical question, you probably repeated your same hectic schedule the next day.

The answer that you may have been seeking was given to us by Ralph Waldo Emerson when he said, “Listen greatly unto yourself.” By that he meant, the inner you is trying to tell you something; it is trying to tell you that you are “missing” your life. Even though there are things that you need to get done, in order to provide for yourself and your family, the question is how much is your hectic lifestyle costing you, your family, friends, and even your co-workers?

Dr. Abraham Maslow, the founder of Humanistic Psychology, once wrote, “The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.” Most of us do not live in the present moment – or even occasionally visit it – because we are rushing about trying to do all the things that society says that we must do, in order to stay or get ahead. These “things” are like bait that society and our peers use to lure us into situations that ultimately create uncertainty, stress, and suffering and – like a fish caught on a hook – we struggle for freedom.

Here are a few steps to help you shun the bait, escape the “hook of struggle” and return to freedom:

1) See Your Inner Beauty: Helen Keller wrote, “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.” While your skills make you a unique person, it’s your inner being that makes you beautiful.

Take a moment to recognize your inner beauty – compassion, flexibility, patience, tolerance, etc. Should you inwardly feel that one of those attributes needs to be improved, don’t get down on yourself. Instead, view the needed improvement as a way to grow and expand your inner beauty. Try to include that growth in your activities throughout your day.

2) Consider Your Actions: Before rushing about, decide if what you feel you “need to do” will bring you peace or conflict. True, you have obligations, but how many of those are self-imposed? One of the greatest fears people have is the fear of being nothing. So they attach themselves to the idea of the masses that if you appear to be busy, then you must be doing something – and therefore you are “somebody.” You are “somebody” whether or not you are doing something. Through the consideration of what you “really” need to do – as opposed to what others think you should be doing – you free yourself from the struggle of the masses – and then each action you take has strength and power.

3) Watch for Awesome Moments: Allow yourself the time to experience “awesome moments.” Awesome moments are natural occurrences of beauty and wonder that happen in an instant and can never be repeated – watching a squirrel frolic on the ground or that a hummingbird flying by your window; noticing the rain falling on your car window; witnessing the brilliant colors of an evening’s sunset. These awesome moments reconnect us with the wonder of life and aid in re-centering ourselves. Awesome moments have no goal or result – they just are.

4) Shun the Bait: The entrepreneur Russell Simmons said, “If I know 15 billionaires, I know 13 unhappy people.” These billionaires are unhappy because what they thought would bring them peace and happiness – success, power and fame – instead, delivered the opposite.

The truth is that most people really don’t crave wealth or power or fame. They desire what they feel these things can provide, which is peace and happiness – yet it rarely does. As the author Stuart Wilde wrote, “No amount of success can make you comfortable, if you are uncomfortable with yourself.” Many fall prey to the false lure of success, power and fame, which they mistakenly assume will bring them peace and happiness. They take the bait and, instead of finding peace and happiness, they find themselves being whisked away and thrown into the boat of fear, stress, and worry.

As the English poet John Dryden stated, “Better shun the bait, than struggle in the snare.” However, it’s not easy, because society, peer pressure, and the desire for more makes the bait of success, power and fame irresistible. Even the most wise can find themselves taking the bait.

However, a wise person knows that – like some fish which after having been caught, jump out of the boat and return to freedom – they, too, can return to freedom. The route to freedom comes by rediscovering your inner beauty, considering your actions and taking the time to acknowledge and experience awesome moments. True freedom comes when you shun the bait and escape the hook of what others view as bringing peace and happiness and, instead, discover for yourself what delivers those attributes.

Freedom is about ceasing the struggle in your life.

A successful entrepreneur for over 25 years, Bob achieved financial security before the age of 40 and is living proof that what he says works. Follow Bob on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/BobGarnerSpeaks. You can also listen to his free motivational and spiritual podcasts.

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Just another post from funny motivational speaker Bob Garner. Bob delivers high content creatively reinforced with demonstrations of mindreading and ESP, clean humor and audience interaction. For a quick look at his funny motivational speaker video, just go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQyNj0-UDLY